ONE MINUTE MELEE: Deadpool vs Scorpion

Deadpool vs Scorpion is a What-If? episode of One Minute Melee, featuring the return of Deadpool from Marvel Comics and the return of Scorpion from the Mortal Kombat series.

Description
These two masked nigh unkillable warriors have both lost a fight, but who will win this time?

Interlude
ONE MINUTE MELEE!

WHERE ALL THE FIGHTS ARE SETTLED IN 60 SECONDS!

'''TWO FIGHTERS! NO RESEARCH! 60 SECONDS!'''

'''1! MINUTE! MELEE!'''

PRESS START!

SELECT YOUR CHARACTER!

(PLAYER ONE CHOOSES Deadpool.)

(PLAYER TWO CHOOSES Scorpion.)

LET'S ROCK?

'''Alrighty! '''/ Uh, one sec...

(Alrighty! selected.)

MELEE!
Out in the middle of a jog, was the mercenary Deathst-

"WAIT A MINUTE! Don't you call me Deathstroke! I killed the fool!"

Well, you did lose to him in the One Min-

"No research! Besides, point is, I'm me! Not that sack of shit!"

Right.

Anyway, the Merc with a Mouth continued his everyday jog, when suddenly...

"GET OVER HERE!"

A harpoon then impaled Deadpool's skull and tore it clean off. It landed on the ground. Scorpion looked down at it before walking away. Suddenly, his back was mysteriously slashed. Scorpion teleported and Deadpool turned around to face him.

"How are you alive?!" Shock laced Scorpion's words.

"Healing factor, bro." Deadpool responded. He then pulled out his katanas.

"So, we doing this or what?"

"My flames will feast on your corpse!" Scorpion yelled.

'''ENTER THE HEAT OF BATTLE! '''

"FIGHT!"

Almost instantaneously, the two masked near-immortals charged at each other, katanas ready.

They engaged in a swordfight until Deadpool was able to stab Scorpion in the stomach. Scorpion then charged a fireball and fired it at Deadpool's head, completely obliterating it. But Scorpion knew it was far from over. He dragged the headless Deadpool close and opened a portal to the Netherrealm, dragging them both into it. By the time they were in the Nettherrealm, Deadpool soon regenerated.

"Where are we?" Deadpool demanded.

"The Netherrealm. This is where I become omnipotent. This is where you will finally die!" Scorpion answered.

Deadpool scoffed.

"Yeah, that's gonna happen." Sarcasm laced Deadpool's words as he pulled out his machine guns. He then proceeded to fire them at Scorpion, but Scorpion teleported behind Deadpool, took off his mask and breathed hellfire at the Merc with a mouth, completely reducing him to a skeleton.

"Surely you must be dead now." Scorpion tried to ignore the feeling in his gut that he was wrong.

He was.

Scorpion could only watch dumbfounded as Deadpool slowly regenerated.

"You know, I almost feel bad for you." Deadpool said, Scorpion too gob-smacked to retaliate.

"But I can't leave unless you're a corpse." He then pulled out his deadliest weapon: the Carbonadium Sword.

"And remember when you said you're pretty much God when you're in this weird place?" Deadpool asked as he walked over to finish Scorpion.

"Well guess what? You're no god."

And with that, he swung the Carbonadium Sword, decapitating Scorpion. His headless corpse fell to the ground. Scorpion was no more. Deadpool then picked up Scorpion's head and began puppeteering it.

"And the moral of the story is... Deadpool wins! YAY!"

And with that, Deadpool threw Scorpion's decapitated head into the lava and starting singing Macarena while replacing two lines.

"This is totally racist. HEYYY CHIMICHANGAAAAAAA!"

Soon, realization hit him like a flaming semi truck falling on his face.

"Uh... how do I get outta here? Hello? Does anyone have a key?"

'''K.O.! THIS MELEE'S WINNER IS...'''

DEADPOOL!

"Now THAT'S more like it! Seriously, I know that they preferred that sack of piss, but still! Anyway, thanks for making me win this time!"

You're welcome.

Trivia

 * This is A Wikia contributor's first fight to have one of the combatants say "FIGHT!" instead of the announcer.
 * Ironically, in the 39th episode of the internet series, Death Battle, Deadpool VS Deathstroke, Deadpool said "FIGHT!" instead of the announcer.
 * Ironically, Scorpion fought Ghost Rider, a Marvel character, and lost.
 * This is A Wikia contributor's first fight to featuring two returning combatants.
 * The end of the battle mirrors the moment where Deadpool puppeteered Deathstroke's head after killing him in Deadpool VS Deathstroke (The Death Battle episode)
 * Ironically, Scorpion was killed the same way Deadpool killed Deathstroke.
 * Even more ironically, Deadpool sang Macarena and replaced two lines.
 * This is A Wikia contributor's first fight that has the combatant talking even after the winner was announced.
 * The end of the battle also may imply that Deadpool is trapped in the Netherrealm forever with no way out.
 * The part in the end of the battle that says "Soon, realization hit him like a flaming semi truck falling on his face." could be a reference to the part of the Death Battle, where Deadpool actually gets hit by a flaming truck.
 * It could also be a reference to one of Wiz's (One of the hosts of Death Battle) quotes during Deadpool's analysis.
 * Not only this is the first of A Wikia contributor's battles where the combatant actually talks to the writer of the battle, but this is also the first of A Wikia contributor's battles where the writer actually talks back to the combatant.
 * Ironically, the announcer used the same pun he used in Scorpion Vs Ghost Rider.
 * Deadpool's rant about his loss to Deathstroke at the start of the battle (and after the winner was announced) could be a reference to the previous One Minute Melee episode that he starred in.
 * This is A Wikia contributor's first fight to feature two combatants who have starred in Death Battle.
 * Ironically, Deadpool previously starred in Deadpool vs Deathstroke, which featured returning Death Battle combatants.
 * This is the longest Trivia of any battle A Wikia contributor has done.